About Perpetual Panic
Since it’s founding, nearly 3 days ago, Perpetual Panic has become the nations fastest growing and most reliable source for breaking news. Perpetual Panic can now boast a daily readership in the low double digits. With a current staff of just under 2 part-time journalists committed to the highest standards, Perpetual Panic has the resources to cover breaking news around the world like none other.
Perpetual Panic is now a free service of Konnun, LLC.
Q. How do I contact Perpetual Panic
A. Feel free to send email to email@example.com or snail mail to Konnun, LLC PO box 2535 Eugene, OR 97402. Be warned, most correspondence will be ignored.
Q. Can I get a job at Perpetual Panic?
Q. Can I provide feedback on a story run by Perpetual Panic?
Q. Can I submit a story as a guest writer or submit story ideas?
A. Yes. Feel free to send articles or story ideas to firstname.lastname@example.org. Be warned, we will likely steal your article or idea and publish it as our own.
Q. I hate Perpetual Panic. How do I shut you down?
A. You can’t, unless you buy the company. Konnun, LLC is for sale for $200,000,000 USD. Otherwise, satire is protected free speech. We don’t use real names except when poking fun at a public figure or organization. Any similarities are simply coincidence, yadda yadda yadda.